What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why do people keep complaining about how some people copy and paste the question before answering it? To me, it's very disturbing and makes me want to block and mute them as annoying whiners.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you anal play alone?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What do you mean son?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What would happen if the Soviet Union had simply annexed Manchuria after World War 2 or kept it independent as a puppet state allied them and separate from China as China was too weak too oppose it anyway?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What! how could you do that?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Can a cop pull you over walking home asking why you are out so late?

Do you know what she said mum?

True - how I loved my mum!

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

How can I move on from my ex?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.